With Mother’s Day around the corner, I’m curious: What was the worst thing you did as a kid? My sister and I once had a house party when my mom was out of town. When my buddy Lex barfed on the brand new [beige] carpet, we tried to spot-clean it with bleach. That genius miscalculation devalued the selling price of our childhood home by a cool grand. But it's the third verse climax of my Mother's Day Beatles parody “Sorry for the Bad Things We Did (As Kids),” a Mother’s Day singing telegram formula cooked up by my publicist Erin Barnes and I. It’s a winning formula. Check out the version I wrote for my mom below, and let us know if we can apologize to your mom in similar musical fashion.