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Song Lyrics

Song for My Dad

Song for My Dad

“Thank You”

(to the tune of “Thank You” as recorded by Dido)

Building a business with no startup
capital is hard
Fortunately I was born for this
but cash still plays a part
my dad pitches in, he is not rich
but he believes in my art
it means the world, I'm humbled by it
forever in debt

Starving artists, we face obstacles
that's understated
tumors, homelessness, unemployment
“worthless” English majors

this old man's been there through thick and thin
braggin' to strangers
that his son makes a good hooker,
a red-haired her

I want to thank you
for being the best damn dad of my life
('cause there were so many other candidates;)
Oh just to be your son
is getting the best deal of my life

Keeps me fed with his salsa
apple butter, pickles too
Chauffeurs me when my car breaks
even when I'm dressed like a dude
have you seen my new website?
My dad bartered for it with his wife's son
He's a gem and a gentleman

I want to thank you
for being the best damn dad in my life
(though the imaginary one is gaining on ya)
I love bein' your son
despite Trans-Siberian Orchestra, you like;)

Song for Howie Mandel

Song for Howie Mandel

Howie almost died
at a birthday once
See, he was choking on cake
it wasn't very fun

His normal voice was on hiatus
so he conjured a new one
If you've seen Bobby's World
Muppet Babies, Gremlins
that's where those voices came from
Howie voiced the cute Gremlin

When he piped up in that high-pitched voice
everyone just laughed
He got no Heimlich, nobody saved the boy
they thought he was just daft

So the next time you're choking on cake
There's no need to fear
You never know where life's gonna take you
you might end up right here…
Mr. Clean with the golden buzzer:)

Copyright 2019 George Swartz