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Anniversary of the Singing Telegram

Anniversary of the Singing Telegram

The singing telegram, utilized to celebrate birthdays around the world, just celebrated a birthday of its own. It’s 86 years old. Here’s the tale of a truly special delivery.

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A Year in my Life

A Year in my Life

Like a caterpillar preparing for its radical metamorphosis, I devoured 2018 with zeal. Over four hundred twenty singing telegrams were delivered via my singing telegram agency this year, the majority of which I personally performed (though mad love to my whole roster). I entertained in China for the first time (then returned a mere six months later), visited the Indonesian island of Bali and finalized my upcoming single “Butterflies” at Colorado’s Grammy-winning Airshow Mastering. Below is a smattering of highlights (words and images) cherry-picked from a bliss-filled year of playing dress up, enabling joy through music and hopscotching around Earth's curvaceous body.

Bathing elephants at Thailand elephant sanctuary

Booking world-famous belly dancer Sadie for a holiday samba gig

Carving Godzilla-shaped “Orangami” for fellow performers in Tokyo

Celebrating ten years of performing with world-renowned music promoter Insomniac Events

Character performance at Colorado’s legendary Red Rocks Amphitheater for Seven Lions

Climbing Sticky Waterfall near Chiang Mai, Thailand

Clowning on stilts in China (twice) and Japan

Dancing on stilts at Washington state's stunning Gorge Amphitheatre for Paradiso Festival

Delivering singing resume to iHeartMedia office on behalf of creative job applicant

Driving camper van to California's Lightning in a Bottle festival with Suze Q

Experiencing Fungineers' Ice Cream Truck show with Alexandria Baker

Exploring bioluminescence exhibit at Denver Museum of Nature & Science with my nephew Kai

Filming EDC China trailer on seventh floor balcony of Shanghai's W Hotel

Facilitating 420 plus singing telegrams through my singing telegram agency:)

Finalizing my upcoming single “Butterflies” at Colorado’s Grammy-winning Airshow Mastering

Floating above the heads of Mexico City festival goers as a stilt-elevated fish

Greeting Denver Dia de los Muertos revelers - on stilts - at Los Muertos Fantasticos

Hovering six to eight feet above Bali’s Tanjung Benoa Bay on a water-propelled Flyboard

Impersonating Hunter S. Thompson at Cannabition Cannabis Museum in Vegas

Impressing Insomniac CEO Pasquale Rotella on the dance floor with Angelique

Imbibing bug bites in a cave restaurant near Mexican pyramid complex Teotihuacan

Imbibing dragonfruit in both Bali and China

Insomniac Thanksgiving banquet at China’s Chimelong Ocean Kingdom

Landing the cover of The Vail Daily as a stilt-enhanced Uncle Sam

Meeting Portland singing telegram / stilt performer / kindred spirit Jon Dutch in Aspen

Musically ambushing Fox 21 news anchors as singer Barry Manilow

Musically ambushing 9 News anchor Liz Kotalik as Cupid

Nicknaming Mexico's Chichen Itza Mayan ruins “Chicken Pizza”

Organizing nine singing telegrams in a single night for Colorado chapter of Young Presidents

Parasailing above Patong Beach in Thailand

People watching at Lefthand Brewery's voodoo-themed Nitro Fest

Playing EDM Unplugged in VIP speakeasy at Electric Daisy Carnival Las Vegas

Practicing AcroYoga with my Flight Club family

Pretending to defecate on the dance floor at Bassnectar with Michelle

Rapping Cypress Hill at AEG Live Rocky Mountain offices as a tutu-clad gorilla

Seeing both Janelle Monae and Lauryn Hill live in concert

Singing Janelle Monae's “Yoga” for Buti yoga teacher Ashton August and her class

Shooting “Butterflies” imagery with longtime photographer friend Jonathan Shoup

Snorkeling in both Bali and Mexico

Taking my four-legged stilt unicorn on the road with Unicorn Whisperer Anastasia

Terrifying Escape Halloween haunted house visitors as faceless giant Slender Man

Three person ukulele jam session on The Great Wall of China

Winning Temple Nightclub's $500 Halloween costume contest with Future

Zip-lining through the jungle at Tarzan Adventure Phuket in Thailand

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Rudolph the Shrooming Reindeer

Rudolph the Shrooming Reindeer

Does this mushroom's color scheme remind you of anyone? A certain airborne holiday superhero maybe?

Make yourself comfortable, it's story time. Reindeer in the Arctic circle apparently enjoy munching on Fly Agaric mushrooms. The red and white toadstools in old school Smurf cartoons were likely inspired by the colorful fungus. Fly Agarics are known to contain hallucinogenic chemicals. No one knows how the reindeer are affected by consuming the mushrooms, but it turns out the antlered mammals of Christmas legend aren't the only fans of the fungus.

The Sami people, native to Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia, have been involved with reindeer husbandry for thousands of years. Lapps, or Laplanders as they are also known, utilize reindeer for many purposes, including transportation in the form of sled-pulling. In the past, Sami shamans imbibed Fly Agaric in their visionary rituals. They even drank urine from reindeer believed to be under the influence of the plant medicine. Did I mention they've been known to don red and white threads in homage to the speckled crimson entheogen they ingest?

To recap, there were living, breathing humans who wore mushroom-inspired red and white garb and rode on sleighs pulled by reindeer. Eat your heart out, Imaginary Santa Claus.

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